Surprise?
by KelliP
Summary: "But you do know that now I will have to get you back." Castle tries to get Beckett back. Of course, this is Castle. His plans are bound to go awry. Post-ep of sorts for 5x19 The Lives of Others.


******A/N:** Not that this episode needed anything to be added (because GAH – wasn't it just so _perfect_?), but I couldn't help myself. This wouldn't get out of my mind.

And as most of my post-eps tend to be, this one is set just a little further in the future.

* * *

**SURPRISE?**

* * *

_"But you do know that now I will have to get you back."_

_"Oh, really? And you think that you can top that?"_

_"Oh – just you wait and see."_

- 5x19 The Lives of Others

* * *

She's over it.

Far past over it.

It's been two weeks of constant disappointment now – and a distant partner for even longer – and she's had enough.

"Castle - " Her voice cracks and gives out, and she bows her head. "This just isn't working."

* * *

It starts with a missed phone call, then two.

Soon enough, she doesn't here from him all day. Before she knows it, that scenario becomes commonplace.

She swallows the disappointment, pushes down the doubts niggling at her heart. Tells herself its nothing. That the deadline for last edits is fast approaching and he's a little short on time.

But all too often she finds herself sitting in his apartment alone with nothing to do but wonder where he is.

* * *

The first comment is thrown out when they're celebrating what they believe to be Ryan's thirty-third. It's just a few minutes into the meal and a polite refusal of a glass of wine when the secret agenda slips into the open.

"I can't believe you're going to be a dad." The smile on Beckett's face as she draws her friend into a hug is nothing but genuine. "Congratulations."

When she passes Ryan off to Lanie, she finds herself unconsciously spinning around in search of her partner. He's leaning against the bar a few paces away, eyes on Ryan and Jenny until she slides up beside him. One hand rises to gently circle the crook of his elbow, snatching his attention, and she can't help but lean in close with the smallest of smiles playing on her lips. "They're really lucky," she murmurs.

Her partner is still for a moment, then shrugs. "I suppose."

The comment throws her off guard. "You - suppose?" she questions with caution.

He tries to dismiss his earlier response with a shake of his head. "No, no. It's great for them."

Her heart falls low in her stomach. "For them."

Another shrug. "Just - "

A harsh tooth digging into her lower lip, she prompts him. "It's not something you want?"

He finally meets her gaze, but there's an unsettling coldness to his usually bright baby blues that leaves her stomach rolling. "It's something I've already tried."

She hears what he doesn't say.

It's something that didn't work.

Something he doesn't want to try again.

* * *

They ride the subway in silence after dinner. From out the corner of her eye she steals sideways glances, lips rubbing together hesitantly as she weighs up restarting their conversation. But his posture is relaxed, his face smooth as he casually watches the other passengers, mentally mapping out their stories like she knows he does.

All as if it hasn't fazed him in the slightest.

* * *

He falls straight to sleep that night.

She doesn't, lying awake well into the early hours of the morning, the arm slung low around her waist suddenly feeling anything but comforting.

* * *

Another week passes by, then two. More comments. No change.

Then all too soon she finds herself at a candlelit restaurant with nothing to do but thank her lucky stars the table where she sits is in the back because the chair beside her is empty.

With a flick of her wrist, Beckett catches a glance at the hands of her watch. An hour and a half. Manicured eyebrows knitting into a scowl, she doesn't fiddle with the stem of her glass before throwing back the last third of her second wine. Here's to hoping the alcohol will erase the memory of the partner who's stood her up.

"Detective Beckett?"

Her neck snaps up at the passer-by's voice to find Captain Gates peering down at her, a crushing pity written across the lines of her face.

"Nice restaurant, isn't it?" The comment Gates throws out is casual enough, but the tone is too forced politeness to be anything but sympathy for the woman sitting with nothing more than an empty glass of wine for company.

Beckett swallows hard, barely managing to find her raspy voice. "Excuse me. I was just leaving."

From the edge of the table she picks up her purse, and rises.

She goes home alone.

* * *

The dark, alluring makeup is scrubbed off her face, those designer heels long toed off to lay forgotten at the base of her closet. That royal blue dress she purchased just for tonight is now thrown over the end of her empty bed, mocking her as creases wear into the smooth fabric. She can't even begin a thought toward the lacy lingerie now covered by the old NYPD sweatshirt she hasn't worn in years.

In the solitude of her bedroom, the silence is deafening. The disappointment of tonight – of the last few weeks – settles a heavy weight deep inside her, shattering the illusion that has been the past year. She barely musters enough effort to exhale the sigh that sits suffocatingly in her throat.

Then comes the knock.

"Kate?"

Her eyes fall shut against the sound of his voice at her front door. At least he has enough decency to not invite himself in.

"Kate, please."

His voice is so broken, all desperate and pleading. It clenches her heart so tight in her ribcage she's sure it pierces and for a moment, she wants to ignore him. He made her wait, she'll make him wait. But there's a voice of reason in her ear saying now is not the time for childish games.

A ragged breath finds its way into her lungs, fills her up with just enough oxygen to stop her head from spinning. She moves through her bedroom with unhurried footsteps, catching a glance of her reflection in the mirror as she passes by her dresser. Tired and frustrated line her face, but it's kept free of the ache in her chest. Good. They keep in wait on her face as she snaps open the lock and wrenches the door wide on shaking hinges.

Neither say anything for a moment, both stubborn, then, "Kate, I'm sorry."

The gentleness of his voice doesn't smooth over the raw ache of her heart.

Though even with the step back into her apartment she takes, the door is left wide open in a silent invitation. He jumps on it and crowds in behind her. With all the frustration burning through her veins it's a little smothering and so she moves another step away just as he reaches for her.

Castle's hand suspends in mid-air for one moment of hope longer, then falls in rejection. His face does the same. "Kate, I'm sorry."

She gives just one nod in response.

He sighs when she offers nothing more. "Kate - "

"Why, Castle?" It's not more a whisper, barely a breath left in her lungs, all of it washing away in the waves of disappointment.

He doesn't give a real response, just another apology. "I'm sorry."

"But it's not just tonight." She claps the back of one hand onto the open palm of the other to force her point. "You've been distant for weeks. Forgetting plans, keeping secrets, ignoring phone calls. You brush it all off like its no big deal, but it _is_ a big deal, and I don't understand how you don't see that."

She swallows hard, everything that's been creeping up suddenly engulfing her.

She's over it.

Far past over it.

It's been two weeks of constant disappointment now – and a distant partner for even longer – and she's had enough.

"Castle - " Her voice cracks then gives out, and so she bows her head. "This just isn't working."

She's a coward, head kept low in a refusal to meet whatever angry or tired or shattered expression has lined his face at her words. Instead she spins around on her heels and takes a step backward. Not to hide away, no, or to kick him out. But underneath the intensity of his gaze some distance is what she needs, even if just across her living room.

"You don't underst - "

"No, Castle." She cuts him off on a growl and wheels back around to throw an accusing finger at him. "_You_ don't understand. Do you have any idea what it was like to have your _boss_ find you sitting alone at a nice restaurant because you've been stood up?"

He blinks, a little dazed. "Gates was there?"

She nods once.

"I didn't realise she'd be there," he fumbles a weak defence.

"And that's supposed to make it okay?" She scoffs. "Castle, it was humiliating." The words catch in her throat as it closes over, the swell of emotion sudden and strong. She turns away to hide the shine to her eyes she knows is there and blinks away the brimming tears.

"It was our anniversary," she speaks low. "And you didn't turn up."

She sees the moment when the gravity of what he's done hits him. He keels forward, the palm he presses against his stomach not able to keep him upright. Everything – all the love and guilt and remorse – it all slides off his face until there's nothing left but the hollow shell of a broken man.

"Just give me a chance to explain," he begs softly. "Please."

She shifts her weight from one foot to the other and crosses her arms over her chest, a flickering thought of asking him to leave in her mind, but –

No. She can't. Couldn't even if she did want to.

"Fine." It's sharp and to the point. "Where were you?"

He opens his mouth, then falters. Silence.

She rolls her eyes. Perfect.

It's not until she moves toward the front door does he cry out. "Okay, okay." Both hands are thrown up to pause her movement. "I just – I had to pick up your present. There was a slight… hitch."

"And you thought it would be better to spend two hours trying to fix this hitch rather than meeting me on-time with an apology?"

He scrunches his face. "No, but - after the disaster that was Christmas and then Valentine's Day fiasco, this needed to be special."

She rubs her lips together in memory of his terrible gift-giving ability. "I don't care about a gift, Castle. All I wanted was to spend our anniversary with _you_."

Castle shakes his head earnestly, now unable to let this all slide by. "No, you don't understand. I've spent - God, I've spent weeks planning this, Kate. Weeks. I wanted it to be perfect. So when the jeweller called to say there was a problem, I just – I panicked. I didn't even think about doing it another time because I thought I'd set everything up so perfectly. I worried if I left it any longer, I might miss my chance."

Doing _what_ another time? Missing what chance?

Beckett blinks. "Castle, what are you talking about?"

He stills in hesitation, then reaches into his coat pocket. Her eyes slide down with a bubble of curiosity rising into her chest. They find a small, square navy box cradled in one palm. She falls still.

Oh.

"I just – I wanted to surprise you. _Really_ surprise you," he half-laughs. "So I made this elaborate plan and dropped all this hints to so you'd think this was the last thing on my mind. I wanted you to be surprised. Wanted to catch you completely off guard like you did for my birthday. No one had ever done something like that for me before and it just – it meant so much to me, Kate. I wanted you to be able to feel the same."

Oh. Oh, Castle.

"But there were problems with the sizing, and then the jeweller rang this morning to say they'd _lost_ your ring – actually _lost _it – and I spent the entire day searching the store for it and - I'm just an _idiot_." Another breath of fake laughter works its way from within him, and Castle shakes his head at himself. "I should have done – I don't know. Done _anything_ else."

Her heart suddenly swells to three times its normal size, a warmth wrapping itself around her, settling a glow deep inside. Then a spark ignites through her veins, shooting off around her body to leave a fiery tingle in its wake that melts all the frustration of these last few heartbreaking weeks.

And then the smile is spreading on her lips all so effortlessly, curling up each end one by one, a little secretive at first before setting itself free. She finds a buzzing swirl of emotions welling up inside her once again, all good this time, though they choke in her throat all the same.

"Castle," she breathes. No disappointment to her tone. No irritation, or exhaustion, or defeat. Just love.

He looks over at her with little boy eyes, so curious and hesitant and all this _wonder_. "Kate?"

She has to swallow hard to clear her throat before attempting to speak. "All of that – everything you did… it's all so sweet," she sings out sincerely. "But I don't need it, Castle. I just need you to ask."

He hesitates, eyes flicking around the room as their fight dissolves into the air. "Like this?"

A beat passes by, then she nods. "Just ask."

With tender eyes on hers, he moves to stand in front of her. She feels his fingers warm at her waist, pausing with a gentle squeeze before they spider around to the small of her back. With a gentle tug she's drawn forward to fall effortlessly his embrace, his forehead dropping so it kisses hers. "Marry me?"

He pops open the jewellery box. The diamond steals her breath.

She whispers her answer against his lips.

"Yes."

He seals that last millimetre of a gap with his lips, the kiss they share so sweet and gentle and so much _love_ with his promise, and with eyes already having fluttered shut he blindly slides the ring onto her finger.

It doesn't fit.

* * *

_kellisworld dot tumblr dot com_


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